Who is Anthony Weiner?

Who is Anthony Weiner? Anthony Weiner is the best thing that ever happened to me. The man who has made my day. Forget my jam packed webinar tonight. Forget the fact that we’ve just had the anniversary of DDay and I’m signing the hotel contract for Uncensored. Forget the fact that I have clients to service, p&l’s to approve and children to raise. I can’t get myself off the blasted internet.

Now last week I came from one of my absolute favorite things ever, Engage!11 which is a luxury wedding planning conference run by 2 great gals, Rebecca Grinnals and Kathryn Arce. What does this have to do with Governor Weiner (well, he’s not really a governor, but I prefer to call him that, sounds better)? It has to do with the fact that at this very luxurious conference certain horrible people get called out for inappropriate mentions of clients, etc on Twitter and Facebook. Last week I sat in my chair and cringed. Evidently my snarky “fully Botoxed and ready for Engage” comment, was not offensive enough, thank God, but had the conference been next week, surely I would’ve been called out for this one since I don’t think this blog represents the height of appropriateness for our industry, but I can’t help myself. For real. This is better than painting Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups to the back of my teeth.

Regarding this Governor Weiner story, who in the heyyyyylllll is dumb enough to take a photo of their man candy when they are married in the first place? Then, who is stupid enough to ever let that image, ever possibly even migrate from one’s phone to the internet, let ALONE TWITTER. What is wrong with people??! This man is in charge of our government. He is a leader of the people. Last week he swore that he had been hacked, compromised and challenged. This week he is crying like a baby. And, but wait, there’s more, the beige bulge showed up on TMZ. WHAT?! Don Imus starts doing parodies. It’s only Wednesday and I can’t even wait until Saturday to see Saturday Night Live, a show I don’t even watch, to see what they are going to say. And how? Why? I am an educated individual!

And you know what? The next thing I can think about is how happy John Edwards must be. Last week he was on the front page of the newspaper for taking money to cover up his little baby mama situation and his little “indictment” problem. But wait, there’s Weiner! John Edwards must be kissing the Blarney Stone over this luck. And who’s the luckiest goofball of them all? ARNOLD. The Governator, I am calling him the Sperminator of course, but this guy must be buying lotto tickets all day. Here’s a guy who has about 500 mistresses, kids with wayward nannies named Mildred and has been doing the slap and tickle with anyone warmer than a broom and then Weinergate explodes. Suddenly Arnold can take a little vacay.

In the midst of doing my webinar dry run, I had to stop, eat some Chipotle, log on to TMZ and Gawker, get the true deets and then, natch, call my ex-husband. Actually, I called both husbands. The ex was so upset about Governor Weiner he said that his knee was bothering him and he had to go. It was all too much for him. My current husband said he was at my son’s preschool doing the pickup and didn’t I have anything better to do? (He hung up on me basically, and no I don’t.) So in the interest of maintaining healthy blog rankings, I decided to take a little break. And then I find out that his wife’s name is Huma…

and…

she’s…

PREEEGGGGNNNNAAAAANNNNNTTTTT.

I’ve just found someone who’s life is more upside down than mine.

Better get me ready for that teleseminar tonight.