As most of my loyal followers know, I had the biggest job of my life last Saturday. Combine that with the fact that I had a German tv crew following me around for 2 days and TPG was ready to just check out. Literally. Lindsay Lohan style. So what’s a girl to do? I left. That’s right. Bailed. Done. Adios. Right about the time I realized that one of our key pieces of insurance had mysteriously not gotten put into place (it got salvaged at the 11th hour, but SHOOT!), I called the travel agent. This was Friday and she was supposed to be in Malibu. Bummer. Remember who’s your best customer. Yep. 20 years of business gets you some action.
So I have a ball working my crazy fab party. I’ll show you photos. Sunday I recoup, go to the gym and try desperately to get rid of the muffin top that has suddenly decided to chase me non-stop. This could be because of my hot fudge stress sundaes of late. I gym it, then try and pack as I’m leaving Monday morning. Stress and drama. I literally almost have a heart attack finishing a proposal as I get on the plane. One of my BFF’s L. Maloney decides to join me for a couple of days. She left this afternoon and I am left with a crazy Russion.
Remember a couple of years ago when I went to Russia and just about lost it. Lots to say on that subject. Anyway, I finally relax poolside today after trying to get all kinds of documents mailed to the States today via DHL (and NATCH, it’s a holiday), only to hear BORIS, yes, I swear on my life, BORIS, screaming into the phone.
It appear Meeester Boris, he car vas stolen. J— Chr–t Tateeee (the daughter was evidently Tatiana), how zee car geet stolen. Wa choo mean, joo loust zee kees. Vere? Vere the kees. Tateeeee, J—- Chr–t. The rather plump wife gets involved at the pool, she starts to get sick, Boris screams, then starts smoking – who even smokes anymore? I was about to start smoking between the DHL drama and Boris and the car.
J—- Chr—t. No Tateeeee, zee car not free now. Jes, jes I hov eeensurance. But no, car no free. (TPG here: Did Tati steal Papa’s car while the monster lounges poolside? Evidently the keys were disappearing since Monday but Tatee, car stolen Tewsday.) Boris continues to blow and smoke, I decide it’s time to whip out my computer. Sure enough, I scared him off. Stupid wretch probably felt guilty that he wasn’t working poolside and after 2 beers, he bailed. Wife, chee steel seek. “Watch u got complen about, huh? Joo hef seero point seero to complain bout. Nuting. Nuting to complain about.”
About that time I ordered a margarita. Now that my battery is about to die, I’m going to hit “Publish” on this blog and start drinking it. You all have a nice night now. And if anyone see’s Boris’ vehicle, would ya let me know so I can pass on the info manana when my hangover passes?
Toodles.